{"id":583,"date":"2026-04-21T13:15:08","date_gmt":"2026-04-21T17:15:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/martywoody.com\/?p=583"},"modified":"2026-04-21T13:15:08","modified_gmt":"2026-04-21T17:15:08","slug":"crash-landing-the-truth-about-my-backyard-skydive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/martywoody.com\/?p=583","title":{"rendered":"Crash Landing: The Truth About My Backyard &#8220;Skydive&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"p-rc_8bc0ecf15b95115a-25\">Listen, I know what it looks like in the photo. <sup><\/sup>You see me sprawled out on the grass in my tactical vest, lines everywhere, looking like I just plummeted from 10,000 feet. <sup><\/sup>Some might call it a nap, but a high-performance scout like me prefers the term &#8220;emergency landing.&#8221; <sup><\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"p-rc_8bc0ecf15b95115a-26\">Being the most noble member of the pack here in Ridgway, I take my duties seriously. <sup><\/sup><sup><\/sup>While Marty is busy with his &#8220;inspections&#8221; and Jazzy is bouncing around like a pup with a mission, I decided to test the limits of dachshund aerodynamics. <sup><\/sup><sup><\/sup><sup><\/sup>I strapped into my harness\u2014the one with the American flag, naturally, to honor our family&#8217;s 35 years of service\u2014and prepared for a daring backyard jump. <sup><\/sup><sup><\/sup><sup><\/sup><sup><\/sup><sup><\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The &#8220;skydive&#8221; went something like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>The Ascent:<\/strong> I climbed onto the highest hill (okay, it was a slightly elevated patch of dirt). <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>The Jump:<\/strong> I saw a squirrel and took a leap of faith. <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>The Gear Failure:<\/strong> My &#8220;parachute&#8221; lines (which humans call &#8220;tether cables&#8221;) got a bit tangled in the tall grass. <\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>The Impact:<\/strong> I hit the ground and decided it was much softer than expected. <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"p-rc_8bc0ecf15b95115a-31\">As you can see, I was so exhausted from the intense G-forces that I had to immediately enter a deep recovery state. <sup><\/sup>Jazzy came over to check on me, but she lacks my level of tactical focus. <sup><\/sup><sup><\/sup><sup><\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"p-rc_8bc0ecf15b95115a-32\">Managing <strong>martywoody.com<\/strong> and being a face of <strong>KDStoss LLC<\/strong> is hard work! <sup><\/sup><sup><\/sup><sup><\/sup><sup><\/sup><sup><\/sup><sup><\/sup><sup><\/sup>Sometimes, a scout just needs to hit the dirt and stay there until dinner is served. <sup><\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"p-rc_8bc0ecf15b95115a-33\">Don&#8217;t forget to check back for more of my &#8220;high-altitude&#8221; adventures! <sup><\/sup>And please, <strong>subscribe and like<\/strong> our YouTube channel\u2014it&#8217;s the only way to support my future aeronautical endeavors. <sup><\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"p-rc_8bc0ecf15b95115a-34\">Stay noble, friends. <sup><\/sup><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"p-rc_8bc0ecf15b95115a-35\">\u2014 <strong>Woody<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-audio\"><audio controls src=\"https:\/\/martywoody.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/ElevenLabs_2026-04-21T17_06_56_Woody_gen_sp100_s50_sb75_v3.mp3\"><\/audio><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Listen, I know what it looks like in the photo. You see me sprawled out on the grass in my tactical vest, lines everywhere, looking like I just plummeted from 10,000 feet. Some might call it a nap, but a high-performance scout like me prefers the term &#8220;emergency landing.&#8221; Being the most noble member of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":584,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-583","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-filter-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/martywoody.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/583","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/martywoody.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/martywoody.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/martywoody.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/martywoody.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=583"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/martywoody.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/583\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":586,"href":"https:\/\/martywoody.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/583\/revisions\/586"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/martywoody.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/584"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/martywoody.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=583"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/martywoody.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=583"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/martywoody.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=583"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}